I’ve stopped running

Strip away all the bullshit

Layers and barriers

Walls of stone

Move away move away

 

I longed to be on my own

Damning the light

Because

I felt damned

Shunned

But I did the shunning

The shutting

Afraid to live

I just wanted to feel safe

But it was silent and cold

Scared of the flames

I became lifeless

Glassy

Lost so lost

But always one tiny glimmer

A flicker a glinting a beckoning

And so I returned

Passion and fun

Only to disappear again

And again

Drowning

 Shivering

Weak

Comparing and hating

Myself

Never knowing who

Or what

I really was

Crying and muting

Stalling and running

Hiding

Alone

  

Better not to utter a word

Never admit it

Not worthy until I felt better

Part of it

Human

Alive

The world doesn’t want red-rimmed eyes

Dark shadows and frowning lips

They only want smiles and laughter

Success and stories

I’m sorry

It’s all bullshit 

Who’s really here?

Who?

Who really gives themselves?

Who dares to stand in truth and presence?

Where’s that connection?

  

I’m ready to meet you

And really embrace you

Because I’ve cracked and broken

I’m coming in

Open

It’s lonely over here

Isn’t this what I asked for

Every time I retreated?

Don’t get too close

Here was where I was racing

Always running away

Or running towards

I’ve stopped running

So I can finally see

Whether they give themselves or not

Here or not

Is it true?

What is real?

I see

Love

All around and everywhere

It is

I am here now

I am here

I am

Now

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