Mouse moves me all over the screen.
Click. Control.
Drag and drop.
Fit into a box.
Folded. Backed up.
The satisfying sound of trash.
Empty.
Cat wants to play.
Twilight hour can’t be trusted.
Soft nuzzle of his head.
Green eyes glare.
Sharp-edged juggling ’til I’m immobile.
Lifeless.
Useless.
How many times do I have to resuscitate myself?
Plaster after plaster loses its stick.
If it’s fundamentally broken, can it be saved?
The river runs dry, loses its way.
Confused.
No gushing momentum to keep on going.
Fed up of trying.
Forcing is futile.
Desperate for help,
I pray.
Sleep plays hard to get
So I give up on the night.
I watch and I listen.
Blowing wind.
Waving trees.
The loss and the loneliness.
The just out of reach.
I long for oblivion.
What if that was my superpower –
To switch it all off?
With a snap of my fingers
Or a pop of a pulsing purple pill
And
Off with her head!
Body and senses
Imagery whirling
The seductive ramblings of the unconscious…
I let go
I let go
betterthansurviving 
Life is hard. So beautiful. So sad. All at once both.
Thank you BTS.
Very true.
Thank you for your beautiful comment.
Beautifully written as always Sharon 💜 Remember the river that ran completely dry in Rethymno? No life, no luscious green grass or trees on the bank ? It was just a sandy, sad, dry clay path coming down from the mountains to the sea. I remember thinking it was terrible and wondered if the river would ever come back there, pretty sure we talked about it on the beach one day. Then a month or so passed and it rained and rained for days on end. That same empty sandy pathway became a roaring tremendous river. It became so strong and powerful that nothing or no one could stop its unbelievable power. Days after the rain the grasses grew on the banks and fish jumped and played like nothing ever happened, they were back in their home somewhere between the land and sea. I guess we can all associate with that river. Sometimes we go from one extreme to the other (happy and fulfilled to sad and lonely) and that can be hard and draining. However these moments help us to find balance. Life is so beautiful because of its highs and lows. We are only human and have to experience the motions, even the planets have their good and bad days. Its all part of the journey. Nothing is perfect but just know that you bring so much light and love wherever you go and there are so many people who care for you and are ready to walk with you on this journey wherever it takes you. Love u so much 💓
Wow Maria, this comment is so beautifully and well-written too. Perfect imagery to illustrate your point. You’re so right and thank you for the love, encouragement and support. I love you so much too. xxx