Mouse moves me all over the screen.
Click. Control.
Drag and drop.
Fit into a box.
Folded. Backed up.
The satisfying sound of trash.
Empty.
Cat wants to play.
Twilight hour can’t be trusted.
Soft nuzzle of his head.
Green eyes glare.
Sharp-edged juggling ’til I’m immobile.
Lifeless.
Useless.
How many times do I have to resuscitate myself?
Plaster after plaster loses its stick.
If it’s fundamentally broken, can it be saved?
The river runs dry, loses its way.
Confused.
No gushing momentum to keep on going.
Fed up of trying.
Forcing is futile.
Desperate for help,
I pray.
Sleep plays hard to get
So I give up on the night.
I watch and I listen.
Blowing wind.
Waving trees.
The loss and the loneliness.
The just out of reach.
I long for oblivion.
What if that was my superpower –
To switch it all off?
With a snap of my fingers
Or a pop of a pulsing purple pill
And
Off with her head!
Body and senses
Imagery whirling
The seductive ramblings of the unconscious…
I let go
I let go
betterthansurviving 