Monthly Archives: November 2011

Dumping the Inner Critic

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Are you fed up of listening to your inner critic? Well, I’m bloody exhausted! I’ve finally had enough of its negative chat so I’m determinedly defriending this dedicated demon.

Here’s what I’m gonna do. I’ll take it for a nice little drive… before abandoning it in the middle of nowhere. Yes, it’ll command me to come back, leaving dozens of pleading (and threatening) voice mails… I’ve got nowhere else to go! Who’s gonna talk to you 24/7? You’re nothing without me! I will hunt you down! But without me to collect it or pick up its calls, this inner critic will have to give up. All it wants is constant attention. If I ignore it, it will simply lose interest in me.

It will be awfully quiet without this lifelong leech but the only one who’ll really miss it is my ego. And one day, when I’m brave enough, I’ll ditch that cunning so-and-so too. Those two deserve each other! I’ll no longer be part of that unhealthy three-way. And when our paths cross again, as I stroll arm-in-arm with my new-found freedom, I’ll greet them with a very friendly middle finger salute. Then walk away.

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Featured image: asphaltandrubber.com

Cursing in a cave

I was listening to Scala & Kolacny Brothers’ take on The Blower’s Daughter this evening when I was reminded of a Norwegian guy who’d raved about a Damien Rice performance. The gig had taken place at Traena festival 2008 in a cave on a tiny island in the north of Norway. My friend hadn’t been afraid to admit that Mr Rice had reduced him to tears. I attended this festival in 2009 but nothing could live up to Damien Rice’s haunting vocals, which were perfectly enhanced by the cave’s excellent acoustics.

I came across this YouTube clip of Rootless Tree tonight and simply had to share it with y’all. If you can get over the brightness of the video (close your eyes if you must) and the cursing chorus (that’s actually the part I love the most), you’ll get why even the strong Viking folk were crying. If only we could all express the thunderstorm of emotions that follow a tumultuous break up with such talent and passion…

 

Let it Rain

"Let the rain kiss you. Let the rain beat upon your head with silver liquid drops. Let the rain sing you a lullaby." Langston Hughes

It’s raining. And the forecast is for much more of it. With gale force winds. We’re all still a bit raw from the recent flooding in Ireland, which took the lives of a woman and a brave young policeman. So naturally, the news of more of the above may put a lot of people in bad form. Harsh weather conditions remind us of those unfortunate enough to be living on the streets. It gives greater meaning to the folk protesting with the #Occupy movement. And it makes us appreciate having four walls and a roof over our heads that much more.

However, rain can also be beautiful. It is necessary for the growth of crops and plants and pretty flowers. Swimming in the ocean as the sky opens is one of the most magical of moments… And the sound of rainfall can be extremely relaxing. Its tune acts as soothing background music as you play cards with a loved one in a caravan… The sky darkens ominously and makes it okay to stay indoors. There is nothing cosier than an evening by the fire as the winds whistle aggressively and the rain beats down outside… I know what I’m doing later…

Images: androidzoom.com; http://blog.cyber-rain.com/?paged=2

Putting the You into Unique

We spend enough time being the worker/parent/student/householder. So why spend the rest of our time torturing ourselves? Doing the things we think we should be doing. Being the person we think we should be. It’s time to throw the shoulds out with the dirty bath water and embrace the coulds and want tos and feel likes.

How many of you hide parts of yourself from the outside world because you’re afraid of being rejected, ridiculed, written off for being crazy?

It’s okay to be weird. To stray from what’s supposed to be normal. And the sooner we admit our quirks to ourselves, the sooner we can bravely show off our authentic selves to the outside world. It just takes one of us to begin flashing our true colours loudly and unashamedly. Soon enough, those around us will become fed up of falseness and find freedom much more exciting.

"I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it."

Your neighbour doesn’t call to your house when she’s in the middle of a no-makeup, Sex & The City marathon, duvet day. Your co-worker doesn’t shuffle out of his suit to show you the David Bowie tattoo on his backside. The townsfolk don’t come to the pub when they’re greasy-haired and spotty. And if they do, GOOD FOR THEM!

Most people face the world with their best (more controlled) side out. That’s why when we feel shitty, we presume that we’re the only ones who cry into our cereal, who want to stay indoors all weekend, who clap along to the X Factor, who fantasise about punching our exes in the face. And those who do engage the outside world, with their flaws evident, are often seen as mad. Think of human beings as T-shirts. Most of us are cool or colourful or at least freshly ironed. But the ones who are brutally honest and admit to feeling lousy or who shout at passers-by as they smack themselves across the head are T-shirts too. They’re just inside out.

When I’m anxious, I bite the skin on my lips and fingertips but I try not to do it  in public because someone once said it made me look retarded. I wailed on the stairs when my ex left me but I held it together when I met my best friend for coffee later that afternoon. I stuff more Pringles than I’m hungry for into my face when I’m alone but I resist a second chocolate biccie when I’m in company.

Of course, most people want to be seen as disciplined, energetic, intelligent, forgiving. So we mask the silly side and the shallow side and the angry side and the depressed side. Well, I think that’s boring.

Just be yourself. Your whole, wonderful, wacky self. Because when you allow yourself to be just that, you can finally open up to the right friends and potential partners for you. And you will be giving license to those around you to unleash their inner uniqueness too.

So, here goes. This is me in all my glory. Sometimes, I like to meditate. Other times, I’d rather shout along to my newest downloads. Sometimes, I think logically and can see the bigger picture. Other times, I imagine breaking cups in frustration as I cry big baby tears of hurt and sadness. Sometimes, I decide to watch documentaries on the economic crisis. Other times, I’d rather escape my reality by losing myself in reality TV. Sometimes, I’m sociable. Other times, I feel fat and ugly and tired and lazy so I don’t even get dressed. Sometimes, I read books on spirituality. Other times, I simply curl up with a cup of tea and the latest Jodi Picoult novel.

You don’t have to be Either/Or. You can be everything and anything all at once. You are you and there is no other you out there. You are fabulously confusing, glitteringly fascinating, mesmerisingly unique. Be you. Do you. Reveal the masterpiece that is you. Because you’re spectacular. And I am too. We all are. We’re just not the same. And thank God for that.

"In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different." Coco Chanel

Images:

http://ziptivity.wordpress.com/2011/06/30/head-to-sharon-ma-for-the-best-fireworks-display-south-of-boston/

http://crfellowshipnwa.blogspot.com/2011/07/life-crazy-right-now.html

http://www.searchquotes.com/quotes/author/Coco_Chanel/