Tag Archives: pandemic

Only for the Lockdown 4

Only for the lockdown, I may never have experienced the following:

  • My hair appointment (always booked two months in advance) was cancelled. I texted my hairdresser, desperate for advice on box dyes. She informed me of my colour. Debated doing a patch test. Decided I’d better. It was the “ALLERGIC REACTION MAY CAUSE DEATH” bit that got me. Going to the hospital would be a nightmare! The patch test burned and I was left with a scabby wound. Decided to go gracefully grey.
  • A few weeks later, I purchased a different brand. The patch test stung. How much stinging is dangerous? Maybe I can use this as an opportunity to see how I’d look if I consciously decided not to cover the greys.
  • Took a nail scissors to my hair instead. I wanted a layered look. I sliced off two chunks. I was reminded of that one time I cut a Barbie’s hair and kept having to compensate by shortening the opposite side. Bald Barbie really stood out from the crowd. I put down the scissors.
  • When someone told me that we should try on our jeans every day because tracksuit bottoms/leggins/pyjamas are lying to us,” I was enveloped in a wave of emotion (anxiety, guilt, rage, denial). “That’s the worst idea ever,” I retorted.
  • Did a 20-minute Joe Wicks’ workout. I couldn’t bend over for three days (and counting…)
  • Whenever a TV character walks down a busy street or through a colourful market or into a noisy bar, I mutter: “Before the Corona virus.” Nothing on television really reflects our current reality. And they don’t stream The News on Netflix.
  • Remember how I got my boyfriend into Irish radio? Well, he’s taken to texting Dermot and Dave even without a cash prize motive. He felt the need to share that, according to the Lockdown Personalities they’d discussed, he’s a Bubble BursterThis means that when someone suggests that this will all be over soon, he disagrees: “No pints in pubs or international travel until 2021.” 
  • In case you’re wondering, I’m a Quarantine Queen. I’m the one who sets up all the Zoom catchups and emails on the links. I’ve also completed several meditation-, personal development- and exercise-based challenges. More still to come. And I saw my no-sugar-or-crisps-for-Lent challenge (sacrifice?) right through to the end, despite the apocalyptic vibes.
  • I’ve noticed that whenever I start dancing, my boyfriend drops everything to join me. We wiggle and laugh and get all the lyrics wrong. I look into his eyes and smile, enjoying a rich few minutes’ appreciation for his presence and willingness to put aside whatever he’s doing to be with me in silly abandon.
  • The song finishes. The moment ends. And I’m right back to my multi-challenges and Zoom-ing. Earning my title every goddamn day.

Art by Tati Ferrigno

Only for the Lockdown Part 3

Some things that may never have happened if it wasn’t for the Lockdown:

  • Attended a Beyoncé concert in my living room. We danced, we sang, we drank, we (okay, I) freaked out when Destiny’s Child reunited on stage. We were even able to pause Coachella to go and make popcorn.
  • Only got dressed from the waist up for all my Zoom meetings.
  • When we were given half an hour to be at an apartment viewing, I screamed at my boyfriend, “Get dressed” because who’s ever really DRESSED during the Lockdown?!
  • We struggled into jeans for the first time in weeks. The first thing we did when we got home was pull them straight off again.
  • Experienced time pressure when I had to log in for my one pre-booked Zoom class that day. Felt quite resentful actually. It can be challenging to fit all my self-care activities into one day.
  • Took part in a 21-Day Abundance Challenge, seven consecutive days of Breathwork, a three-day Mindfulness retreat as well as multiple Zoom meetings, classes, catchups and birthday celebrations… My boyfriend hardly ever sees the living room.
  • Took my bike out for the first time in over four years. I felt like the Erasmus student I once was speedwheeling my way to a lake swim or a barbecue or a beer festival.
  • My boyfriend asked me if, just for one hour everything went back to normal, what would I like to do most? I pictured travelling to a sunsetting Greek island and dunking myself in the ocean. “But one hour wouldn’t give you enough time to get there,” he said, stomping on my dream. “You’ve obviously thought about this. What would you do,” I retorted. He replied without hesitation, “Get a haircut.”