Category Archives: Random

Putting the You into Unique

We spend enough time being the worker/parent/student/householder. So why spend the rest of our time torturing ourselves? Doing the things we think we should be doing. Being the person we think we should be. It’s time to throw the shoulds out with the dirty bath water and embrace the coulds and want tos and feel likes.

How many of you hide parts of yourself from the outside world because you’re afraid of being rejected, ridiculed, written off for being crazy?

It’s okay to be weird. To stray from what’s supposed to be normal. And the sooner we admit our quirks to ourselves, the sooner we can bravely show off our authentic selves to the outside world. It just takes one of us to begin flashing our true colours loudly and unashamedly. Soon enough, those around us will become fed up of falseness and find freedom much more exciting.

"I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it."

Your neighbour doesn’t call to your house when she’s in the middle of a no-makeup, Sex & The City marathon, duvet day. Your co-worker doesn’t shuffle out of his suit to show you the David Bowie tattoo on his backside. The townsfolk don’t come to the pub when they’re greasy-haired and spotty. And if they do, GOOD FOR THEM!

Most people face the world with their best (more controlled) side out. That’s why when we feel shitty, we presume that we’re the only ones who cry into our cereal, who want to stay indoors all weekend, who clap along to the X Factor, who fantasise about punching our exes in the face. And those who do engage the outside world, with their flaws evident, are often seen as mad. Think of human beings as T-shirts. Most of us are cool or colourful or at least freshly ironed. But the ones who are brutally honest and admit to feeling lousy or who shout at passers-by as they smack themselves across the head are T-shirts too. They’re just inside out.

When I’m anxious, I bite the skin on my lips and fingertips but I try not to do it  in public because someone once said it made me look retarded. I wailed on the stairs when my ex left me but I held it together when I met my best friend for coffee later that afternoon. I stuff more Pringles than I’m hungry for into my face when I’m alone but I resist a second chocolate biccie when I’m in company.

Of course, most people want to be seen as disciplined, energetic, intelligent, forgiving. So we mask the silly side and the shallow side and the angry side and the depressed side. Well, I think that’s boring.

Just be yourself. Your whole, wonderful, wacky self. Because when you allow yourself to be just that, you can finally open up to the right friends and potential partners for you. And you will be giving license to those around you to unleash their inner uniqueness too.

So, here goes. This is me in all my glory. Sometimes, I like to meditate. Other times, I’d rather shout along to my newest downloads. Sometimes, I think logically and can see the bigger picture. Other times, I imagine breaking cups in frustration as I cry big baby tears of hurt and sadness. Sometimes, I decide to watch documentaries on the economic crisis. Other times, I’d rather escape my reality by losing myself in reality TV. Sometimes, I’m sociable. Other times, I feel fat and ugly and tired and lazy so I don’t even get dressed. Sometimes, I read books on spirituality. Other times, I simply curl up with a cup of tea and the latest Jodi Picoult novel.

You don’t have to be Either/Or. You can be everything and anything all at once. You are you and there is no other you out there. You are fabulously confusing, glitteringly fascinating, mesmerisingly unique. Be you. Do you. Reveal the masterpiece that is you. Because you’re spectacular. And I am too. We all are. We’re just not the same. And thank God for that.

"In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different." Coco Chanel

Images:

Head to Sharon, MA for the best fireworks display south of Boston

http://crfellowshipnwa.blogspot.com/2011/07/life-crazy-right-now.html

http://www.searchquotes.com/quotes/author/Coco_Chanel/

Random act of kindness

Last week, I was presented with an interesting assignment: give something to a complete stranger. I loved the idea! Little did I know how difficult I would actually find it…

I gleefully pondered the many wonderful things I could bestow upon a stranger. I could buy someone a coffee or hand a child a large, coloured lollipop. I could pay for someone’s parking or help an elderly person across the street. I could saunter up to a solitary diner in a café and present them with a beautiful lemon cupcake. I could purchase a bus ticket for the person behind me in the queue.

But I repeatedly talked myself out of each idea. They’ll think I’m crazy. My motives will be questioned. It’s easier to just look after myself. I marvelled at my own hesitation.

Three days later, I still hadn’t completed my mission, and I was having a pretty horrible week. Money worries, strife with a loved one, and a serious dose of PMS. I was hardly in any form to accomplish this random act of kindness.

Today, after a triathlon of tears, free-flow writing and meditation, I dragged myself out the door. And someone from a passing car fired an egg at me! Its insides dribbled across my runners. I wanted to cry.

I considered going home immediately as I silently wailed: Who would want to make someone cry? Then, I wondered: Was the energy I was giving off attracting all this negativity? The car had long gone and I hadn’t reacted. I sent the goon with the great aim some loving thoughts, took a deep breath, and made up my mind to be strong and turn things around. It was now or never.

inspiringbetterlife.blogspot.com

I popped into a shop and bought a Cornetto. A man wearing sunglasses walked my way.

I tried: “Hi. Can I give you an ice cream?”

“I don’t want it,” he muttered as he side-stepped me.

I felt bad but I recognised his scepticism towards my altruism, and moved on. A few others approached me.

“Would anyone like a Cornetto?” I ventured.

“Why?” asked an elderly lady.

“Because I’d like to give this to someone.”

She took it and queried,” How much do you want for it?”

“Nothing,” I answered. “I just wanted to give it to someone.”

With that, she beamed and said: “Thank you. That’s very kind.”

I walked home with a renewed light in my eyes and a smile on my lips. As I neared my flat, a young boy grinned at me and bellowed, “Hi!” The negative energy I had been wallowing in melted away in this child’s generous greeting.

This once-assumed easy task taught me a lot. It showed me that I still care what people think of me. It confirmed that what we’re thinking about the world will be perfectly mirrored back to us. I realised how suspicious people can be of simple acts of kindness but that is merely because these acts are so rare. When you do something with a pure heart, the self-protective barriers will subside, and the results will be extremely rewarding for both giver and receiver.

Now, I have an assignment for you, my lovely readers. Give something to a complete stranger. Take note of what happens and be aware of how you’re thinking and feeling before, during and after the act. It will teach you some valuable lessons and it will make a lucky stranger’s day.

"The universe is exactly the way we think it is and that's why." John Woods

Featured image: Painting by Pamela Cisneros

Clouds

An oft-travelled journey home when, suddenly, I become transfixed by the clouds in the sky. Grey and navy with astonishing splashes of light and beige. An unexpected chink of blue reminds me of tomorrow and Mediterranean summers.

There are mountain ranges and snowy landscapes and sumptuous treats in these clouds. Ever changing and concealing and revealing. A thoughtful water-colour painting. A masterpiece of such genius that many do not even recognise it.

Perfect contrasts of heaviness and light, charcoals and pastels, passion and anger. Dramatic brushstrokes and cotton puffs so soft I want to bury my face in them. The impermanence delights me. Now, slowly, the clouds part and the window of promising blue stretches, making the clear sky more precious for it is not always so.

“Our true nature could be compared to the sky, and the confusion of the ordinary mind to clouds. Some days, the sky is completely obscured by clouds. When we are down on the ground, looking up, it is very difficult to believe there is anything else there but clouds. Yet we only have to fly in a plane to discover up above a limitless expanse of clear blue sky. From up there, the clouds we assumed were everything seem so small and so far away down below. We should always try and remember: the clouds are not the sky, and do not “belong” to it. They only hang there and pass by in their slightly ridiculous and non-dependent fashion. And they can never stain or mark the sky in any way.” Sogyal Rinpoche

The magic of nature

Nature amazes me

The intricate system of veins on the back of a leaf. A large tree that holds candles of flowers all the colours of a little girl’s sun dress. The abundance of hawthorn. The gnarled bark that holds secrets of wisdom and healing, if we would just bother to ask for them.

The cutest baby lambs and their huggable mothers, their wool sticking up like they’ve just rolled out of bed.

Shades of blue smudged across the sky, white clouds barely moving like a mirage landscape of snowy mountain ranges. A pine branch swaying dreamily. The biscuity scent of yellow furze that tickles my nostrils each time a light wind dances. A sudden downpour of fresh water droplets from the heavens.

‎”See the fullness of life all around you. The warmth of the sun on your skin, the display of magnificent flowers… biting into a succulent fruit or getting soaked in an abundance of water falling from the sky. The fullness of life is there at every step.” Eckhart Tolle

redbubble.com

“Live as though heaven is on earth.”  Mark Twain            

Heaven is on earth. Heaven is in our hearts. It is up to us to open our eyes, our minds and our hearts; to see, feel and experience the abundance and beauty that’s right in front of us.

Look  OBSERVE  Appreciate  Meditate  Breathe  Love  Give thanks       

“She’ll tire herself out eventually.”

These past few days, I’ve experienced a surge of excess energy. I spent Saturday night dancing around my bedroom. I then completed a set of sit-ups and chin-ups, like a disciplined action hero preparing for a life-threatening escape from some high security prison. I’ve been running across the plains of the Curragh, jumping around the flat, and singing/shouting as I drive.

Maybe it’s the unexpected good weather. Perhaps it’s my mood. Or there could be something in the air… All I know is that I’m not complaining.

allposters.com

I’m listening to my body and it’s telling me that it has energy to burn. Though my mind insists that I should be tired after a full day in college, I’m allowing my body to unwind by expressing itself through rigorous exercise. It feels good to give some freedom to my body instead of being controlled exclusively by a mind that’s been influenced by years of unquestioned habits and rules.

If there is something in the air and you too are experiencing random bursts of energy, do something with it. If we were children, we’d be playing skipping and chasing and climbing trees. Don’t permit your society-moulded mind to dictate to you what, where, or when you can or cannot do the things you feel like doing. Unleash the bold child itching to get out. Jump up and down on your bed. Round up a gang of mates for a game of rounders. Spend a day at the beach swimming and racing along the sand. Go surfing or wakeboarding. Start up a tag rugby tournament. Spend an entire night on the dance floor. You’re free to do whatever it is you want to do. So do it!

Everywhere I drive, I sing/scream; mouth wide, fists in the air (when I’m not changing gears, of course). Florence and the Machine is great for this…

When did playing with cardboard boxes stop being fun?

During the week, I went for a walk by the river. The sun sprinkled the air with opportunity, the birds were making themselves known, and a tiny snail crossed my path with quiet determination. A warm wind tackled me and I splayed out my arms like a child hoping to take flight. I was reminded of summer holidays on a beach in the west of Ireland. But I was no longer a carefree kid and it was just an ordinary day. However, instead of rationalising away this welcome feeling of freedom and spontaneity, I allowed myself to bask in it. I gazed at the water as it danced in delight beneath the sunbeams. I observed a crow as it slipped and slid off a signpost and I laughed as I wondered if it had momentarily forgotten that it could fly. I closed my eyes and turned my face to the sun.

My thought I am not on holidays could have ruined this beautiful moment. But why deny yourself feelings of enjoyment? You don’t have to designate yourself a mere two weeks of relaxation a year. At any time of your choosing, you can access that wonder and excitement you shower upon yourself whenever you enter a foreign land. Everything is new and exotic and has yet to be explored. When you’re on holidays, the reason you feel so alive and unburdened is because you are allowing yourself to live in the present moment. Imagine, you can bring that feeling to your everyday life. Isn’t that wonderful?

"A poet is someone who is astonished by everything."

Our thoughts dictate our feelings and experiences of the world around us. Last week, my aunt feared she’d lost her handbag, which was holding a huge wad of cash. She suffered pangs of panic and dread. It turns out she’d left the bag in her mother-in-law’s house. Her handbag was never missing and the money was never gone. Yet her thoughts about it all created a reality where she had just lost a large amount of money.

Anything can happen to you. Anything at all. But your thoughts about what is occurring (or what you believe is occurring) are shaping how you experience this reality. Approach each day with a sense of curiosity and inquisitiveness. Explore your world. Reacquaint yourself with the childlike innocence that once brought you so much joy.

Lately, I have been reintroducing that freshness and curiosity to my daily life. There is something to be learned from absolutely everything. Humour and enjoyment feature hugely in my interactions with the world. I am going with the flow. I appreciate the little things and marvel at the big things (the intricacies of nature and the universe, the power of the mind, the magnificence of goodwill). I am choosing to think good thoughts about the people around me and, as a result, my experience of humanity of late has been extremely positive.

So, the next time you’re walking the streets of your city, interacting with nature or other human beings, or bending into a warm spring breeze, bear in mind that what you choose to think in that moment will construct the very essence of your experience. The power is all yours.

Images: birds.com; squidoo.com

Creating your own reality

You know this thing about how we manifest our own reality? Oftentimes, I ponder this exciting yet baffling concept. That and the philosophical riddle: If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? If I fabricate my own reality, does anyone else even exist? If you shape your own reality, do I exist outside of your perception of me?


If I am the designer of my own world, why, for example, can I not tell the guy I have a crush on that I like him? If I am the one who makes it all happen, I would confess my feelings for him. And, of course, he would jump at the chance to be with me.

But maybe my thoughts about myself are limiting my possibilities for happiness. He wouldn’t be interested in me. I’ll never experience a functional relationship. I don’t deserve success, prosperity, good health. The wooden blocks I have been using to build my life with are rotten. As a result, the wonderful universe I am hoping to construct lacks a solid foundation. Sooner or later, my world will come crashing down and I am the one who’s going to be crushed.

Well how about this, reality? If you are mine to mould, listen hard to the following instructions. I want (and finally believe I deserve) all the good things this life has stored in abundance for me. If I promise to be positive and gentle with myself, I trust that you will hold up your end of the bargain. Nice doing business with you.

thelostuniversallaws.com

(Ir)rational fears

Today in work, I surprised myself at my reaction to a teeny tiny mouse. I screeched at a pitch high enough to shatter double glazed windows and raced into the next room. And I hadn’t even seen the thing. I’d heard some rustling, then another girl had said, in a wobbly voice, “I think it’s a mouse.” And that was enough. Several times, we ventured towards the bin the unfortunate creature was trapped in and each time it moved, I sprinted screaming from the room. Why was I acting like (excuse the sexist simile) such a little girl?

As I ponder this tonight, I recall an incident from a year ago. I had just moved into a flat that was infested with mice (a fact I unfortunately only learned after signing the lease). The landlord “kindly” deposited tempting trays of poison around the place. I had a friend over one night, who got to witness my banshee-like shrieking at the sighting of a petrified baby mouse on the stairs. The following morning, my friend left early. She texted to inform me that the poor infant mouse was dead in the hallway, obviously after a late night binge on the aforementioned delicacy. I approached the deceased vermin slowly, planning to scoop it up with an envelope. As the paper touched the corpse, the mouse moved! I screamed so loudly that the neighbours evacuated their houses to investigate.

And when I took myself even further back in time, I remembered that 10 years ago, I was sleeping on a stud farm (I can explain. But I won’t.) One morning, a mouse scurried into bed with me. I leapt up so fast I gave myself whiplash. Ever since, I’ve had a slight phobia of mice. However, once I started digging below the surface of my apparently irrational fear, I discovered some rational explanations.

Think of all the people out there living with crazy and seemingly unexplainable fears. There are those who are terrified of being alone in a house at night. If someone else was with them or if the sun was beaming through the windows, they wouldn’t expect to see a dagger-wielding psycho in every shadow-ridden corner. Perhaps, on closer examination, they have had a bad previous experience. Or they fear loneliness. Or they don’t have enough trust or confidence in themselves. Maybe darkness or silence reminds them of something they would rather forget.

Others have fears of dogs, cats, spiders, birds, water, flying, open spaces, closed spaces, the word moist, the colour blue, feet, tomatoes, David Bowie…

What is your “irrational” fear? Delve into the feelings surrounding your phobia and pay attention to what it brings up in you. You’re guaranteed to learn something about yourself and it may even be enough to lessen the anxiety.

For me, with the mice, I think it’s a fear of the unexpected. When I catch something moving from the corner of my eye, hear something when I’m anticipating silence, or feel the presence of something that “shouldn’t” be there, I freak out. Even when, in reality, the terrifying creature looks like this.

(I freely admit that even Googling “cutest mouse” made me shudder.)