Tag Archives: decision-making

Dark Corners

Cackling into the depths of a teacup,

Everything yellow.

Energy tingles and pops,

Floorboards swirling watercolours.

I hunker down,

I’ve never been in this part of my house before.

Patterns in walls, the road brightens,

Plants shine happy,

Fairytale weather.

An otherworldly trio,

Celtic goblins under a bridge.

The hairs on my arms bristle like swaying seaweed,

Diving into the crease of an elbow.

I stretch in the frame of a doorway,

The duvet thrums.

Trees spike with the wind and rush towards us,

They love us.

Bamboo green and soft like paintbrushes,

The same underwater.

Leathered skin and pores,

An elephant’s eye.

A continuum of snakes and seahorses,

A centipede in a dirty bathroom.

Slime, bones, Chernobyl,

Unseen, unwanted.

An ever-flowing fountain,

Don’t hold it, give.

I feel the music beneath me,

Jolts of insight.

If I think I am, I am.

Stop thinking.

Different ages and journeys yet she is me.

Too square or wild and rugged?

Dancing around a campfire.

Nothing matters.

It’s all there. Choose wisely.

All my life anxious. Why? Poor child.

I feel so alone.

He lies beside me. A smile. A clam.

Puzzle pieces slotting into cosiness.

Third eye bursting.

Punching the air. I could do with tears.

An angel, a light, a fairy.

Thank you.

The window is naked,

Birds and stars in the night.

Afraid to feel then don’t want it to end.

Food. Clingfilm. I make the bed.

Order makes me feel safe.

Resist. Control. I can’t.

I don’t want. I want so hard.

Perfection. Trying. That’s not your way.

Built the only way I knew how.

Lie in the dusty earth. I never want to get up.

Give up. Let go. Let go.

Start from the beginning.

I don’t know anything.

There’s a flower. And it’s white.

Image: Tumblr

Wildflower

I’m standing inside a block. Knees bent, one foot in front of the other. Breath and palms pushing. Sweat prickles.

I know this will mean a lot of time and frustration with very little forward motion.

Slabs of white before and behind me, above and below. But the sides are open!

I sidestep into a sunny field of wildflowers. Reds and purples, pink and yellow. I inhale deeply.

Birds trill. Butterflies bounce. Bees buzz.

Blades of grass pulse around me. Do they move because the breeze moves them? Or the almost invisible insects? Or is it as a result of their very own energy as they stretch their necks towards the sun?

My questions remain unanswered, my wants are unclear. Can I wait to be moved by the forces, always propelled in the right direction? Bask in nature and hope for divine inspiration?

Or do I climb back into the four-faced block and continue pushing and perspiring? I don’t want to delude myself, wasting time. At least I’d be praised for my efforts as I try to take life seriously.

I should forge my way, make things happen. Create the life I truly desire. If I could finally decide.

But who wants to be blinded by white plastic when beauty flashes at the corners of the eyes?

The fresh air is too good to give up. I gulp it in. It’s life-affirming even if I don’t know what, where, when I want for my life.

So I belly flop into the wildlife, eyes and heart open.

Image: ognature.com