The following is a list of things that, only for the Lockdown, I may never have experienced:
- Had a dream in which I questioned the social distancing practices.
- When my boyfriend said he didn’t remember his dream, I suggested making one up just so he could tell me a story. “I could never lie to you,” he exclaimed. I regretted asking.
- To get my boyfriend out of bed, I suddenly shouted: “Come on, you’re going to miss the train!” “The train to where,” he asked. “To work,” I tried. “Work doesn’t exist, it’s just an illusion,” was his response. Then he decided that we should start playing the Lotto. We still haven’t bought a ticket.
- Took out Connect-4. I won every game. “I’d say you’d be really good at chess,” my boyfriend marvelled. We took out a draughts board. I lost every game. I blamed it on the cider I was drinking.
- We started treating a teddy like a real-live dog.
- I look forward to going for walks so I can record WhatsApp voiceys to my friends in peace (the adult version of My News).
- I no longer mind how long things take (phone calls, work on the computer, queues for Tesco, hugs).
- Am learning how to properly shoot a basketball.
- When passing another human being, I’m alternating between genuine joy, connection, polite nods, smiles and Hellos then wishing I could clothesline them when they come too close (but that would mean I’d have to touch them).
- Appreciated springtime to this extent (coloured blossoms, cerulean skies and the coconut scent of a gorse bush).
- Birdsong is my new favourite soundtrack.
- As I strolled along the canal this afternoon, I had the urge to bury my face in the swaying reeds. I didn’t. Maybe next week.
- Stood and watched a starling murmuration. In the distance, they looked like vibrating particles of one entity. Then they swooped overhead, spreading and coming together, making shapes like a celestial Etch A Sketch.
Please share your weird and wonderful Lockdown experiences.