For all the women out there who have bad hair days or dark circles, acne or wrinkles… For all the women who feel they need to “put on their faces” to face the world, this one’s for you… Teri Hatcher first thing in the morning!
So, let’s forget about trying to look perfect and laugh at ourselves instead!
Posted in Modern Society, Random
Tagged acne, ageing, comedy, dark circles, desperate housewives, hair, juliette lewis, laughter, makeup, naked, oprah winfrey, opray show, perfection, shit girls say, teri hatcher, ugly, women, wrinkles
The last time I ventured to the pub was about three months ago with my then boyfriend in the Donegal Gaeltacht, where the most outrageous thing anyone did was speak English. The last time I got drunk was about six months ago with an old college friend, when we had Thai food with our wine and spent the following day blaming the takeaway for the annihilation of our insides (as you do). And I can’t even remember the last time I set foot inside a club. Does watching self-proclaimed guidos fist pump on Jersey Shore count?
And you know how when you haven’t done something in a while, you wonder if you could even remember how to do it? It’s part lack of energy after a recent flu; part rawness after a recent break-up; part fear- I think I’ve put on weight, I don’t have anything nice to wear, I don’t remember how to small-talk; part sense- memories of extreme exhaustion after a 7am finish, a night spent hugging the toilet bowl (it was a night on the tiles all right!), hangovers so bad you rue the day alcohol was discovered. Damn you, rotten fruit! And part downright laziness at the thought of having to choose an outfit, do the hair and makeup, and stand around in heels all night. Effort. I think I’ve developed a mental block.
But after three weekends in a row of calling over to my mam’s for chips and a two-hour sentence of The X Factor, where the most daring thing I did was drink tea after 11pm, I think it’s time I worked on my social life.
I’m told I need to get out there (code for showcase my talents- I have a large chest- in order to date around). But do I really want to find a man in a swirling sea (maybe I shouldn’t have had that last Cuba Libre) of checked shirts and shark-like smiles? It’s dangerous choosing a partner when you’re both sporting beer goggles (Why do they call them beer goggles anyway? Goggles help you see. They should be called beer shades. Because they blot out the light. But I digress. I do that when I try to avoid an issue.)
On the one hand, I’m not bothered with all the pretending that goes on on a night out… fake tan, false eyelashes, concealer… pretending that everything’s funny, pretending that this club doesn’t suck rear end, pretending that you can walk in those heels and that your feet aren’t burning… Plus, I don’t want to get so drunk that I lose the following day (or my mammy’s chips).
On the other hand, I miss dancing to the latest Rihanna number, making an effort with my appearance and being told it’s paid off by a random hottie (even if he is hauled outside by the bouncers three minutes later for being too drunk) and cackling at dirty jokes with a gaggle of mates.
I don’t have to drink too much (famous last words). My eyelashes and tan (or lack thereof- I didn’t have a sun holiday this year, okay?) will be real. And I might wear flats. Who’s with me?
Images: http://myspace-fusion.com/graphics/photography/index.php?page=6; http://willberwillberforce5333.wordpress.com/tag/willber-willberforce/page/159/; http://bahalwan.de/gallery/fashion/MicheleWaldmeyer/
Featured Image: http://2812photography.wordpress.com/2011/08/25/dance-floor/
Posted in Modern Society, Random
Tagged alcohol, alone, boredom, boyfriend, break up, calvin harris, club, concealer, drunk, ex, fake tan, false eyelashes, falseness, friends, hangover, heartbreak, jersey shore, laughter, men, mental block, pub, rihanna, sick, single, social life, the x factor, we found love, women
Okay, aside from a little bit of Oooh Aaah Paul McGrath, if you know what I mean (I realise that my foreign readers won’t get the embarrassing rhyming reference to getting jiggy with it), here’s a contented-sigh-inducing list of things that make me go Aahhhh….
That first slug of tea after a long day The climax of a favourite tune
"Life is too short to drink from an ugly cup." jAne at Tickleberry Farm
The first holiday glimpse of the ocean Writing something beautiful
Surrendering my weight into a comfortable bed
Sliding into a hot bubble bath The tightest of bear hugs
Reading the first page of a novel and knowing that this book is going to rock
Taking time out in nature The sound of rain beating off a tin roof
*Snow Magic by TORI STEFFEN
WAKING UP TO AN INCREDIBLE SNOW SCENE Swimming solo
The sky in all its forms and shades and PaTteRn$
Beauty… from nature to a photograph to a piece of music to a particularly pleasing male form…
Freewheeling after cycling up a steep incline
Sunshine on my skin Newly changed bedclothes
The scent of yellow furze and freshly cut grass
The blast of hot air as I step off the plane in an exciting foreign location
Lighting a candle just because…
The first gasp of breath after an extraordinary belly laugh
Now, do fill me in on some of the things that make you go Aahhhh…
Images: http://everafterxo.blogspot.com/2011/04/127-and-i-picked-her-up-and-away-we-go.html; http://www.top4download.com/beautiful-ocean-sunset-screensaver/screenshot-csthcguk.html; http://www.pixdaus.com/; http://abigaylee.tumblr.com/page/20; http://blog.fly51fly.com/2009/03/08/delicious-photograph-20090308/
Featured Image: http://www.aliciaandnick.com/whitenoise/art.html
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