Category Archives: Random

Hip Hip Hooray

Posted on September 10, 2013 | Leave a comment

I recently ended a romantic relationship. Afterwards, I admired my ex for how fully and openly he had given his heart. He had really loved me.

Today, I realise that he had been able to love me because I had opened myself up to that possibility.

I told him things I usually didn’t speak about for fear of rejection. I cried in front of him. I shared my fears and passions, quirks and insecurities. I laughed until tears ran down my cheeks. I laid my face and body bare. I allowed myself be vulnerable. I opened myself up to love. I had to give myself credit for that.

Yesterday, as I drove across the country, I sang along to my iTunes library. My voice didn’t sound bad. I remembered that when I used to smoke, my voice had started to crack when I tried to sing. I give myself credit for giving up cigarettes. I haven’t had one in years. Yesterday, I sang for two and a half hours straight. And I thoroughly enjoyed it.

What can you give yourself credit for today? Of course, it’s easier to remember the obvious awards and qualifications and even easier to concentrate on the mistakes or so-called failures. But what about all the other stuff in between?

For me, it’s the fact that I’m now a proficient driver even though my terrified 19-year-old self never believed she’d be comfortable behind the wheel. Or how I started a blog when the guy I was seeing tried to kiss another girl. How, more than three years later, I’m totally over the guy (we’re actually friends now) and I still have the blog. How I set up Positive Living classes in my community. How my voice keeps going strong during a two and a half hour singathon. And how, after heartbreak and divorce, unrequited love and disappointment, I am even more open to giving and receiving love.

It’s so easy to berate ourselves. And so simple to congratulate and encourage others. But for some reason, we find it difficult to give ourselves credit for what we have achieved, for having tried and failed and tried again and learned from it, and tried yet again and succeeded.

We have survived decades here on this crazy planet. We have climbed, fallen, wounded ourselves, healed our hurts and gotten right back up again. And for that, we deserve to celebrate.

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Posted in Positive Thinking, Random, Uncategorized

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Blanket of Stars

Posted on September 9, 2013 | 1 comment

I am getting ready to go to bed when I am struck by the view outside. I open the window, inhale the night air and gaze at the awesome sky.

A sprinkling of stars beam down at me, some glowing brighter than others, all sitting quietly, brilliantly, in the silent sky above me. Their presence both humbles and reassures me.

How could I ever question or take for granted the miracle of the universe when these billion year old luminous spheres dazzle me with their presence?

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New Beginnings

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Posted on August 11, 2013 in Love, Random

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Soul Sketches

Posted on April 27, 2013 | 3 comments

I showed one of my Positive Living groups the following videos. For those who’ve already seen (or couldn’t be bothered watching) them, the first one is about how we perceive ourselves, how we hone in our flaws and imperfections, and how we don’t see the beauty that other people see in us.

The second is a spoof on the first and I cried actual tears, it was so funny.

Afterwards, we drew pictures of how our souls might look like. I instructed the class not to think too much, to just go with the feeling. Below is a picture of my soul, drawn my me.

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Then, I told the class to draw a picture of how they feel the soul of the person sitting beside them might appear. I reminded them not to worry about it being a work of art, to simply allow it to flow. Because I was teaching, I was sitting at the top of the room so there was no way my partner could have seen the picture I had just drawn of my own soul. Five minutes later, I was presented with this.

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We squealed in disbelief and hugged. We had drawn almost the same image of my soul, except she had made it bigger, more vibrant and even more beautiful. And it’s not unlike the Sacred Heart, which is regularly depicted in Christian art as a flaming heart shining with divine light. Maybe it’s not so unusual to imagine a glowing heart when connecting with one’s soul but nobody else in the class drew a heart for themselves or for anybody else.

This was a great exercise and I thoroughly enjoyed drawing like a little kid, totally absorbed in colour, connection and creation. Why don’t you try it with your children, partners or friends? You’ll be amazed at what manifests.

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Posted in Random, Spirituality

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Keep Your Head Up

Posted on April 15, 2013 | 2 comments

“I have an idea for a blog post for you,” someone told me this morning. “I was walking and, because it was raining, all the worms were out. I hate worms! Then, I realised that I always walk with my head down.”

I interjected: “That mustn’t be very enjoyable.”

“No it’s not,” she agreed.

“It’s great when you get these insights,” I commented. She nodded. “So, what’s the deeper meaning? The analogy for life,” I asked.

“Well,” she mused, “isn’t there some saying that goes like: ‘When you look down, all you see is the muck and the worms. When you look up, you can see the stars.’ Or something?”

Em, I’ve never heard that one before but I love the message that this woman has taken from it. When we’re plodding along in life, we’re focusing on the ugly and the mundane. All we can see is what’s wrong in our lives and what we’re afraid of. But when we have the confidence to hold our heads high, we catch a glimpse of the miraculous beauty and abundance that surrounds us.

Insight can visit us in the strangest of ways. Keep your head up and your eyes open and you’ll be amazed at what’s staring you right in the face. This morning, the rain-inspired worms helped open one lady’s eyes to the possibilities that lay just one chin-tilt away…

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The Liebster Award!

Posted on February 15, 2013 | 10 comments

A big thank you to Lisa from Random Encounters of an Inquisitive Mind for the Liebster Award! I remember seeing this award a year or two ago and thinking how deadly it’d be to have someone praise your blog with a super cool award like this. I must have attracted it my way with all my positive thinking 😛

So, here’s what I have to do…

The rules:

1. Thank your Liebster Blog Award Presenter on your blog and link back to their blog.

2. Answer the 11 questions from the nominator, list 11 random facts about yourself and create 11 questions for your nominees.

3. Present the Liebster Blog Award to 11 blogs of 200 followers or less who you feel deserve to be noticed and leave a comment on their blog to let them know they’ve been chosen.

4. Copy and Paste the blog award on your blog.

 11 Random Facts about me

  1. I prefer to sleep with the curtains open.
  2. I usually have a few books on the go at the same time.
  3. I don’t have television channels in my home.
  4. I start my mornings by giving gratitude and spending about five minutes in silence.
  5. I love the ocean, sunshine, cupcakes and belly laughs.
  6. I teach a Positive Living group once a week.
  7. I started this blog because I was feeling depressed over a man and I got the idea after watching Julie & Julia.
  8. I still have my blankie (which was once my grandma’s house coat).
  9. I’m half-Greek, half-Irish, and three-quarters mad.
  10. I was reading before I started school and I wanted to write so badly that I used to fill copy books with squiggles.
  11. For years, I had my little brother believe that his dolls and teddy bears could talk. They each had their own personalities. His favourites were two Glo Worms called Scrumptious and Snuggles. They were really bold.

My questions to answer:

  • Why did you start blogging?  Oops, I already answered this in Random Fact number seven.
  • Would you consider yourself a writer?  Yes. It’s been a part of me since before I could actually write. Check out my blog on this: Being a writer (and being the only one who knows it)
  • If you could have any job in the world, what would it be? A lot of what I’m doing now (writing, teaching, alternative health) but getting loadsa cash for it 😉
  • What type of music do you like?  Anything that makes me feel the musician’s passion.
  • Do you believe in love at first sight?  It’s probably more often lust-at-first-sight but yeah, it can happen.
  • Who do you love, and why?  Ooh Lisa, I’ll have no secrets left! I love my family and friends and the people in The Lifeflow Centre.
  • What is your most favourite thing to do?  I’m not kidding when I say writing but also being in nature and having a bit of craic with friends (just to clarify, I’m Irish not a drug addict).
  • What morals do you live your life by?   Be present, enjoy life, do your best, share with others your joy and/or whatever will help them.
  • Whats your favourite movie?  The most recent one I fell in love with was Untouchable.
  • What is your favourite quote?  “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” ~ Wayne Dyer

Questions for my nominees:

  1. What makes you laugh?
  2. What are you passionate about?
  3. Why did you start this blog?
  4. Who inspires you?
  5. Where’s your favourite place in the world?
  6. What’s the best book you’ve read recently?
  7. What good TV series would you recommend? (Okay, I’m being selfish now.)
  8. What’s one of your favourite words?
  9. Tell me something about one of your firsts (first kiss, first time you fell in love, first holiday…)
  10. Tell me a joke.
  11. What are you going to do with your award?

And now *drum roll please*, the Liebster Award goes to…

Okay, two things: some of the above may well have more than 200 followers but because I am a follower, I can’t seem to find how many others there are… And I really need to start checking out more new blogs. I’ll put that down as a goal for March.

Thanks for reading, thanks for following, and thanks again to Lisa! You’ve just rocked my Friday night!

liebster-award21

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I Marvel

Posted on November 13, 2012 | 1 comment

I am lying in bed when Johann Pachelbel’s Canon starts playing. Tears spring to my eyes at the sheer happiness that emanates from this orchestra. In these five beautiful minutes, I marvel at how music must have been discovered. At how a violin is carved out of wood. And how someone decided to add strings and a bow and a chin rest. I marvel at the hours of practice, passion and dedication of the musicians. At how they all come together to play this magnificent piece of music. And how they must be feeling to be part of this wonderful creation. I marvel at how one man in 17th century Germany was inspired to compose such a masterpiece. And finally, I marvel at how all the violins and bows and musicians and passion and discovery and inspiration all sum up to this…

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Talking Trees

Posted on October 26, 2012 | 5 comments

There is something about the wind in the leaves this time of year.  It reminds me of the fizz of the ocean as it races up and down the strand.  There is an entire symphony up every bark.  A final farewell before journeying into winter.

This is my meditation music.  I discard my iPod and tilt back my head.  Leaves swirl from the heavens and blow across my path.  Someday, I might understand the hum, hiss and chatter of the trees.  If I stop awhile and listen.

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A Conversation without Words

Posted on August 6, 2012 | 2 comments

Her arms are crossed tight over her chest. Her eyes flash. He takes a step back. His eyes dart from side to side. Her lip is curled back so her teeth are bared. I take a step back too even though I know she can’t see me.

The wind takes up her hair before whipping it back into her face. She brushes it away with her knuckles. He tries to speak but his mouth remains a perfect O as she raises her hand and smacks him across the face. He watches the ground. He doesn’t turn the other cheek. A single tear spills. I want to hold him, to tell him I love him, that everything will be okay, that it couldn’t be helped, that we never intended to hurt her. But I shouldn’t be here so I watch on in silence.

Her hands fly up to her mouth and she begins to shake and sob. He moves towards her. She utters one word, which freezes him in place. Finally, she allows him to speak. He talks and talks, streams of words I wish I could hear. She sinks down on the step and lowers her face to her hands. He looks around before gently sitting beside her. She doesn’t look up. Is she crying? I can’t tell.

He edges slightly closer. Soon, his thigh is pressing against hers and he puts his arm around her. Her head falls onto his chest. Her whole body shakes. Her face is wet and red and all scrunched up. I feel upset for her, at what we’ve done, at the line we’ve dared to cross. But it will all work out for the best. You can’t help who you fall in love with.

My eyes are drawn to his fingers as he moves them towards her face. He tilts up her chin with his big hand. He says something. She won’t look at him. He says something else. There is an urgency in the set of his face, in his eyes, his eyebrows, his mouth. She looks up slowly, then his face is on hers. Their mouths clash and push open. Their hands are in each other’s hair, on each other’s faces, in each other’s clothes.

It ends as suddenly as it’s begun. She pushes him, gets up and runs. This time, it is he who puts his face in his hands. I don’t move towards him. I cannot embrace him now. I walk away.

Sometime later – it could be an hour or a quarter of a day – he lets himself into my apartment. I hear him trudging up the hallway. My breath locks. He enters the living room, eyes downcast. “How did it go,” I can’t help asking. “It was hard but it’ll be okay. She’ll get over it.”

I stare into his face. I look at his lips – the ones that have kissed hers and mine and hers again. His left cheek is redder than his right. I stare and stare. I have nothing more to say to him.

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Posted in Fiction, Love, Random

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The Strangeness of Strangers

Posted on August 5, 2012 | 2 comments

I’ve just added a Fiction section to the blog. Hope you enjoy the first entry…

She comes with a spasm and thumping feet. And suddenly, she’s crying; all teeth and lips turned inside-out, with wrinkled forehead and scrunched-up, leaking eyes. In this moment, he sees everything she hadn’t wanted anyone to see.

Her mascara zigzags down her face. She thinks it’s waterproof. He doesn’t tell her otherwise. She’ll know when she next looks in the mirror. Plus, he likes the way the smudged charcoal emphasises the light green of her eyes. He prefers it to the previously controlled sweep of eyeliner. However, the total abandon she’s just displayed has made him uncomfortable. He wanted to fuck her, not find out what’s wrong with her.

“Sorry,” she breathes into his neck. She doesn’t want eye contact so she holds him tight. He’s still on top of her. His chest is squashing her breasts. He doesn’t ask her if she’s okay. He hopes his presence is enough. He’ll tell his mates he got the ride but only after they drag it out of him. He’s not a total asshole.

He wants to leave. Or at least roll off her. But he’s been raised better than that. He will make sure to thank her and take her number. She hopes he’ll ask to see her again. Not because she likes him. Because she’s a woman. And if he doesn’t call, she’ll feel used and rejected. She used and rejected him as soon as she orgasmed. She just doesn’t know it.

She smoothes the hair at the back of his neck. He doesn’t have a secure job. And he isn’t as toned as she’d like. Neither is she but she’s criticised herself for long enough. It’s someone else’s turn. He longs to leave. She aches to be left alone but hopes he wants to stay. So they lie there hugging, pretending a closeness they think they should feel after bumping genitals.

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Posted in Fiction, Modern Society, Random

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