I’m currently rereading Anodea Judith’s excellent book Eastern Body, Western Mind. This morning, I completed an exercise on the Inner Family that I’m going to share with you.
Anodea Judith suggests making a list of the various parts of yourself. You might include the inner child, the clown, the achiever, the lover, the critic, and so on. In my case, I listed the lost child, the inner child, the lover, the romantic, the fearful one, and the warrior.
Next to each name on the list, write a few words describing how you perceive this part of yourself.
For example, I could describe the inner child as playful, curious or innocent. The lost child might be scared and alone. The lover is open, present and sensual. The romantic believes in love. The fearful one anticipates that bad things will happen. And the warrior is stunning, strong and skilled.
Now, write down what you think each part wants. My inner child wants to experience. The lost child wants to be loved. The lover wants to make love. The romantic wants to connect. The fearful one wants peace. And the warrior wants to live.
Ask yourself how often these parts succeed in getting what they want. How realistic are their desires? And what can be done to bring them into wholeness?
In order to bring the various parts of myself into wholeness, I can connect with people, including myself. I can be open to relationship and to love. I can meditate, rest and be still. I can be in nature, surround myself with beauty, and go on adventures. Using all of my senses, I can make love with life every single day. I can be present, really live, relax, allow and enjoy.
The final part of this exercise is to look at who relates to whom. For instance, does the critic inhibit the artist? Or does the clown entertain the sad inner child?
I realise that the parts of myself that I listed seem to go in pairs. The loving, playful inner child is the lost child’s reassuring companion. The confident lover and the dreamy romantic are in perfect partnership. And the warrior protects the fearful one and makes her feel safe.
This is an interesting exercise. Try it and let me know how you get on.
Posted in Personal development, Random
Tagged achiever, adventure, anodea judith, anticipation, artist, badness, beauty, beliefs, body, books, bravery, centre, chakras, clown, companionship, confidence, connection, courage, critic, curiosity, desires, dreams, eastern body western mind, enjoyment, experience, fear, giving, good, heart, hope, human, inner child, inner family, innocence, life, live, loneliness, lost child, love, lover, meditate, mind, nature, needs, now, openness, people, perception, play, pleasure, presence, protection, reading, receiving, relationship, relaxation, rest, romance, romantic, sadness, safety, security, self-acceptance, self-discovery, self-help, sensuality, sex, sexuality, skill, soul, spirit, stillness, strength, success, touch, wants, warrior, wholeness
Tonight at an Amber Run gig, I watch as the band becomes immersed in playing. There’s something riveting about witnessing other people express their creativity and passion. It’s exciting to be invited to share the experience.
The vibration of the music pulses through my body. The beat of the drums pulls me in and spurs me on. My hips begin to sway. I raise my arms and close my eyes.
The music moves in me and expresses itself through me. I’m not thinking about how I should dance. And I’m not looking at what other people around me are doing. I’m perfectly happy with myself in the enjoyment of this moment.
Suddenly, I realise that the same concept holds true for life. When we’re present to the now, we’re in the flow. We don’t have to worry about how a thing will unfold. Because when we let go and allow, unfold it will. Beautifully so.
We are the instruments through which life happens. We are the consciousness that sees life happening. And we are life.
A bombshell of awareness and connection implodes and explodes and ripples into infinity. I stand for a while in blissful understanding. Then I smile and rejoin the dance.
Posted in Random, Spirituality
Tagged acceptance, aha moment, allowing, amber run, awareness, band, beauty, bliss, body, concert, connection, consciousness, contentment, creativity, dance, dublin, energy, excitement, experience, expression, flow, gig, happiness, infinity, life, music, musicians, now, passion, presence, realisation, relaxation, resistance, self-consciousness, sensuality, sharing, stress, talent, the academy, understanding, universe, vibration, witness, worry
Some of you will be familiar with a popular song of the moment, “Cheerleader” by OMI. Well, up until Sunday night, I thought the lyrics went something like this: “Oh I think that I found myself a cherry air.”
Which makes no sense at all but I happily sang along anyway while enjoying the sunshiney sound of the trumpet.
On Sunday night, I was in a beer garden when OMI’s reggae tune came on. “Oh I think that I found myself a cheerleader,” one woman sang as she threw her hands in the air. Oh!
I’ve since heard the song several times and now that I know what OMI is actually singing, I can’t not hear it. This got me thinking. Is it the same with awareness? Once you have an awareness/insight/Aha moment, you can’t unhave it.
Anyway, that’s my thought for the day (well, one of them at least).
Posted in Personal development, Random
Tagged aha moment, awareness, cheerleader, depth, friends, funny, humour, insights, instrument, introspection, lyrics, music, night out, OMI, pop, reggae, song, summer, sunshine, thinking, thoughts, trumpet
It’s Day 6 of Rejection Therapy and I’ve done the following:
- Asked out an international superstar (no response)
- Asked all 447 of my Facebook friends if they wanted to hang out with me (nothing came of that either)
- Said hello to lots of strangers (all bar one said hello back)
- Asked for a discount on the entrance ticket to a nightclub (my cheekiness didn’t pay off but I got a kick out of asking)
- Chatted up a hot guy (it worked)
- Texted aforementioned hot guy (no reply – more on that in a sec)
- Struck up a conversation with a man who was waiting for me to finish with the parking ticket machine (he was very friendly)
- And other stuff that I do anyway on a daily basis but I guess it still involves putting myself out there (adding friends on Facebook, posting revealing blogs on t’internet, opening up to my peers, asking people to do things with/for me)
In other news, the young lad got back in touch. I decided to react with integrity. I told him that I feel we’re not on the same page and I wished him luck. He didn’t respond. But I feel empowered. In Matthew Hussey’s words, I’m a High-Value Woman. I deserve better. And I’m sending out that message from now on.
As for the hot guy, he gave me his number and told me to text him. So I did. He didn’t reply either.
I have to admit, it stung. I found myself diving into a negative spiral of All or Nothing thinking. No guy ever wants to get to know/go out with me. I began to question the point of this whole Rejection Therapy game.
Moments later, I wondered what I’d do today in order to get rejected. And that was enough to get me back on that horse and stop dwelling on one guy I met once.
Six days in and I’ve learned that I’m human. I accept that I have an ego and that rejection hurts. But I can handle it. I pick myself up and I move on. And it does get easier.
Six days in and I realise that it’s the fear of rejection that stops us from putting ourselves out there. And if we allow ourselves to be controlled by that fear, we could be closing ourselves off to many amazing opportunities.
So maybe it is worth feeling rejected every once in a while if it means being open to an abundance of possibility.
As I drive home tonight, I have two big awarenesses:
- Because I presume I’ll be rejected, I close down. I don’t make any effort to connect, which likely pushes the other person away.
- I react not to actual events but to my beliefs. When I believe that I’m always rejected, I experience rejection. It doesn’t matter what anyone else says or does because what I believe is true for me.
So all I need to do is change my beliefs. For instance, when Hot Guy doesn’t reply, it doesn’t have to be because he doesn’t like me and no guy ever wants to date me. His reasons for not replying aren’t actually important. What is important is that how I feel about myself (that I’m beautiful and worthwhile) doesn’t change in accordance with Hot Guy’s actions.
All this challenge and introspection may seem like hard work but it’s strengthening my foundation of self-worth so that, pretty soon (hopefully), it will be, I will be, unshakeable.
Posted in Personal development, Positive Thinking, Random
Tagged abundance, acceptance, anger, attraction, awareness, beauty, beliefs, blog, blogging, bravery, challenges, confidence, connection, core, courage, dating, depression, disappointment, ego, emotions, empowerment, experience, facebook, fear, feelings, foundations, friendship, get the guy, high value woman, human, insight, introspection, learning, life, living, love, matthew hussey, men, negative thinking, negative thoughts, nights out, openness, opportunity, positive thinking, positivity, possibility, power, reality, rejection therapy, relationships, resilience, sadness, self-esteem, self-worth, strength, thinking, thoughts, vibes, vulnerability, women, writing