List Five, Feelin’ Alive (And Grumpy)
My fifth list of all the things I may never have experienced if it weren’t for the Lockdown:
- The night of the Supermoon, 11:15pm. Second cup of tea made, snacks half-eaten, episode of Hollywood on pause, when my boyfriend suggested going for a walk! The part of me that loves her comfort zone (therefore secretly loves the Lockdown also) resisted. But the bullying part of me that believes spontaneity and openness means really living pushed me out the door.
- We stood before the last Supermoon of 2020 and gazed at its glowing aura. We set our intentions, longing for great things.
- The area was dark, the night cold. We hungrily inhaled the magnificent aroma of cut grass. A cop car passed and pulled in. I felt watched as I took photographs from the bridge.
- The following day, I gloried in wearing a string top without having to have a hoody within arm’s reach.
- I walked slowly and barefoot around the green. I languished in the cool grass, stared at insects and flowers, leaned into the swooshing wind and tilted my face towards a blue square of sky amidst chubby white clouds.
- That night, we spent the length of a film looking for a film. My boyfriend gave up: “Looking for a good movie on Netflix is like trying to find a contact lens in the ocean.”
- Pictures of sun drenched holidays and blue-green waters make me ache with yearning.
- A Facebook friend’s post of her children’s paddling pool made me sweat with envy.
- On Thursday, I felt tired, headachey and unmotivated. I blamed it on the full moon.
- On Friday, I tried on a skirt and shorts that I wore this time last year. They were very tight. I blamed it on my boyfriend who has regular hankerings for a “sweet touch”. I kept it to myself of course. Don’t bite the hand that feeds you!
- Yesterday, I was sick and sore and emotional. I blamed it on the time of the month.
- Today, I’m grumpy and I have energy. Might explain the anger. I forced myself out for a cycle. I bid my boyfriend farewell: “Hopefully I’ll come back a brand new woman,” I muttered apologetically. He looked at me and responded, “Please never come back.” What he meant to say was, “Please never change.” We laughed until I cried.