A while back, I received an email inviting me to become an online author for a website called Success Stories. Naturally, I clicked on the link. The tagline for the website read:
“Learn from People who Already Made it”
Was this spam? Or was this a real live website? And if it was legit, why had they selected me to write for them?
What makes me successful in their eyes? Is it because I have a blog? Because I have the words Life Coach, Acupuncturist & Reiki Practitioner beneath my profile picture? Does my ability to write make me seem like I’ve made it?
If only they knew, I thought. I haven’t made it. Far from it. Then I promptly forgot all about it.
Until yesterday. When I received a follow-up email from the editor reminding me of the invitation. This time I replied, asking a few questions. What type of articles? How many words? Would I get paid?
The response I received didn’t make me want to write for them. But it did get me thinking about how I view myself.
I tend to forget about all the amazing things I’ve done. I downplay my achievements.
I compare myself to others, believing that they’re more successful, more confident, more able, more driven and ambitious. I don’t have what it takes, my inner bully insists.
Now however, I imagine how others might view me. How some people may not be able to understand why I sometimes feel afraid and insecure.
When all someone can see is a smiling picture and a job title at the top of a blog that’s been running for almost five years, they’re bound to think I’ve made some sort of a success of things.
And you know what, they’d be right. I have been creating this blog for almost five years. I set it up. I write the posts. I get myself through the experiences that inspire me. I learn from them. I grow. I share.
Yet I dwell on the parts of my life that I deem to be less than successful. But who’s to say what’s a success and what isn’t?
Some of the more difficult and less appealing things that have happened are actually the things that spurred me on to make important changes. To be brave. To be great.
Shouldn’t that be what success really means? So yeah, maybe I have made it.
Here are some things that have happened to me, for me and by me:
- I did an excellent Leaving Cert. I dropped out of college. Twice.
- I suffered from an eating disorder and depression. I took myself off antidepressants. I worked on myself. I still do. Every day. I’m happier than I’ve ever been.
- I lived in Spain and Munich. I backpacked through South and Central America. I inter-railed around Europe. I spent a summer on a Greek island.
- I married at 23 years of age. I got divorced. I’m single. I’m dating.
- I went back to college as a mature student. I’m qualified in many things. I usually get great results.
- I’ve worked lots of different jobs. I’ve left lots of different jobs.
- I have a great circle of friends.
- I set up my own business.
And you know what? I’m proud of myself. But I don’t think I’ll ever make it.
Because I’m still on a journey. And this journey can be as challenging and painful as it can be beautiful and rewarding.
I feel strong. I recognise all I’ve done to get to where I am. And I acknowledge all that I am.
I have empowered myself enough to be able to navigate my way in the world. I’m doing my best. I’m making it.
Compiling a list of all the things that you’ve been through and all that you’ve achieved is such a positive thing to do. Please make your own list. See how far you’ve come. You’re doing great.
Posted in Modern Society, Personal development, Positive Thinking
Tagged achievements, acupuncturist, ambition, antidepressants, anxiety, backpacking, beauty, beliefs, better than surviving, blog, blogging, bravery, business, challenges, college, confidence, courage, dating, depression, difficulties, divorce, doubts, drive, eating disorder, ego, empowerment, enterpreneur, erasmus, exams, fear, fears, friendship, greatness, grief, growth, happiness, inner critic, inner voice, interrailing, jobs, journey, languages, learning, leaving cert, leaving certificate, life, life coach, life coach kildare, life coaching newbridge, living, love, marriage, online dating, positivity, power, pride, qualified life coach kildare, reiki practitioner, relationships, renting, sadness, school, self-belief, self-development, self-esteem, self-pride, self-work, separation, sharon vogiatzi, Skype life coaching, strength, struggles, study, success, success story, travel, uncertainty, vulnerability, winston churchill, work, world, worry, writing
Why is dreaming big so frowned upon? When a child announces that he’s going to be a dancer, his parents and teachers hope he’ll grow out of it. Why is it more acceptable to say you want to be a doctor or a teacher, rather than a playwright or a photographer?
Simple. It’s because the people who care about you want to protect you from disappointment and hardship. Because your talent, no matter how much you and your loved ones appreciate it, might not be to everyone’s taste. Because so few people blessed / cursed with creativity “make it”. Because “struggling” is the most common adjective to describe “artist” or “actor” or “writer”. Because they want you to be safe and get a “real” job – one that comes with a company car and a pension. So, you’re advised to just be realistic.
But what’s realistic is acknowledging your gifts and doing something with them. What’s realistic is at least giving it a shot. What’s realistic is wanting to live a happy life doing something you’re passionate about.
Of course, it’s easier to live a normal life. Sharing your creativity means baring your soul. It means lifting the comfortable veil that most of us wear. There can be no secrets when you allow others to glimpse the depths of your emotion, the shades of your pain, the hidden creases of your heart, and the crevices of your imagination.
Sadly, many people don’t even try to pursue their passion. They know they’ve got something special but they’ve given up on it before they’ve even started. Or they’ve never had the time or space to explore their creativity. There are too many bored secretaries, frustrated sales reps and depressed accountants. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not condemning these occupations. Creativity manifests in many forms. I’d just hope that if you work at one of these professions, it’s because order or commerce or numbers are your passion. And if not, that you’d at least humour your creative side on the weekends.
Without dreamers, the world would be a very dull place. We would never have even heard of music, poetry, theatre or literature. If nobody took a chance on their dreams, there would be no Harry Potter or Bilbo Baggins, Dracula or Holly Golightly. We wouldn’t be able to talk on the phone or fly to another continent. Andrea Bocelli would be just another blind Italian. And we wouldn’t have the likes of this.
Starry Night - Vincent van Gogh
Featured Image: Painting by Georgia O’Keeffe – http://www.artchive.com/artchive/O/okeefe.html
Other Images: http://www.flickr.com/photos/amandamabel/5597604359/;
Posted in Modern Society
Tagged actor, andrea bocelli, art, artist, belief, bilbo baggins, blind, career, child, company car, creativity, dance, dance of the sugar plum fairy, doctor, dracula, dreams, emotion, fight, georgia o'keeffe, harry potter, heart, holly golightly, imagination, italian, job, led zeppelin, money, music, occupation, pain, painting, parent, passion, pension, playwright, poetry, poverty, profession, salary, self-belief, singer, soul, stairway to heaven, starry night, struggles, success, tchaikovsky, teacher, theatre, vincent van gogh, writer