Only for the “Lockdown” I may never have:
- Experienced gratitude for being allowed to go for walks.
- Followed the flight of a swan as far as my eye could see.
- Witnessed a heron spearing a fish with its beak and thought it was amazing (I’m vegetarian).
- Had so much quality time with my boyfriend.
- Got my boyfriend into Irish radio.
- Convinced my boyfriend to enter the daily radio competition so we’d double our chances.
- Dragged my boyfriend for his first proper canal walk.
- Felt surprised when he wanted to walk further than me.
- Wrote a poem about COVID-19 because all my cousins were doing it.
- Attended online classes via Zoom.
- Participated in a Women’s Circle (via Zoom).
- Attended a Life Coach (via Zoom).
- Started giving Life Coaching sessions over Zoom.
- Had video chats with friends, who live within a 30 km radius, using Zoom.
- Paid for a Zoom subscription.
- Watched a movie with homemade mini-pizzas, a nice bottle of red and a basin of popcorn on a WEDNESDAY.
- Listened to a podcast while lying on my bed. Listening to podcasts had only ever been a multi-tasking activity (alongside walking or cooking).
- Gazed out the bedroom window at a lone star.
- Listened to the wind in the trees.
- Had a day-time nap.
- Enjoyed bringing the bins out and hanging out the washing.
- Walked all the way to the “Big Tesco” instead of driving and didn’t mind queuing because “Sure, what else would I be doing?”
- Rejoiced when I spotted eggs in the supermarket.
- Let my hair go this grey.
- Reevaluated where I am in my life and what I want.
- Had all the time in the world to figure it out.
- Opted to write this list instead.
What have you been doing that you may never have done only for the “Lockdown”?
Posted in Modern Society, Random
Tagged affection, appreciation, blog, boyfriend, breath work, confusion, corona virus, covid-19, current affairs, drinking, exercise, friendship boredom, irish radio, life, life coach, life coaching, living, lockdown, love, nature, online, online classes, outdoors, pizza, podcast, podcasts, poem, poetry, popcorn, radio, relaxation, sleep, time, walking, wine, writing, yoga, zoom
Do you ever feel so bad about yourself that you can’t fathom that great things could happen? You don’t believe in yourself. You forget all the good that you do.
You close yourself off to all the love that surrounds you. You compare yourself unfavourably to others and see everyone else as confident, successful, flourishing…
You focus on the negatives. You spot rejection, failure and disappointment in every comment, action and imagination.
You push loved ones away then hate yourself more for doing so. For self-destructively banishing what you crave: love, care and affection.
They try to love you. They offer you acceptance. But deep down, you’re never going to measure up or be worthy of their naive loving of you.
You shut down the love. You silence the laughter. You dare not believe in your potential. It frightens you.
You sob. You cry. You let go. You open up. You let him in.
A smile breaks through. You can’t help but laugh. He’s so good.
He sees the best in you. You want to be that person. And one day, as you sip on a coffee in the afterglow of his presence, you realise that you are.
You are that bouncing, brave, beautiful person that he admires. But you block yourself.
You think thoughts and you believe them. You identify with the bad.
You stop dancing. You don’t feel the music. You forget who you are. You exist but you cease living.
While the real you simmers patiently beneath. Always there. Waiting for you to shake off the shackles and rejoin the dance.
Ready to roar in perfection. And smile and love and shine. And be free.
He loves you because finally you remember that you love you. You just don’t believe it.
Image: Author’s Own
Posted in Love, Personal development, Poetry, Positive Thinking, Random, Spirituality
Tagged acceptance, belief, beliefs, blocks, confidence, creativity, dance, depression, disappointment, emotions, existance, failure, faith, fear, feelings, focus, freedom, goodness, happiness, higher self, hope, hopelessness, inner soul, insights, letting go, life, life coaching, living, love, mindfulness, music, negative thinking, opening up, patience, personal development, personal growth, poetry, potential, presence, realisations, relationships, romance, sadness, self-acceptance, self-esteem, self-hatred, self-love, soul, source, spirit, spirituality, strength, talent, thoughts, trust, unblocking, unconditional love, vulnerability, writing
Yesterday, I took part in teaching a class. I prepared what I would speak about, dressed up for the occasion, and delivered my presentation. I received excellent feedback and felt I was behaving quite professionally.
After the lunch break, everybody was sitting and waiting for class to resume. I sat down and, right in front of everyone, I fell right through the chair, landing on my ass. We all laughed, my cheeks reddened (the ones on my face!) and we continued on.
As I sat there, trying not to guffaw, I realised that this was a hilarious lesson on not taking myself too seriously. I’d had an emotional week and I’d been feeling tired and fed up. It all felt like hard work. But I was proud of myself for getting through it and doing my best. And then I fell, bum in the air, in front of a room full of people.
Last night, I drank a glass of wine with my mother, watched ridiculous YouTube clips with my sister, and smashed open a coconut like I used to as a child on Hallowe’en. I slept in my childhood bed and didn’t get up until almost midday, skipping an all-day workshop that I could have attended.
If yesterday’s incident has taught me anything, it’s that I need to lighten up, have fun and enjoy life for what it is, instead of attempting to control everything and be perfect.
The funny thing is that, even if I do wind up bum in the air in front of everyone, we can all laugh about it, and the show still goes on.
Posted in Health, Positive Thinking, Random
Tagged acceptance, adulthood, childhood, control, difficulty, embarrassment, emotions, enjoyment, family, flow, fun, funny, hallowe'en, humiliation, humour, inner child, lessons, letting go, life, living, mortification, perfection, poetry, sense of humour, serious, teaching, the x factor, tiredness, work, youtube
One song can spark a moment,
One flower can wake the dream.
One tree can start a forest,
One bird can herald spring.
One smile begins a friendship,
One handclasp lifts a soul.
One star can guide a ship at sea,
One word can frame the goal.
One vote can change a nation,
One sunbeam lights a room.
One candle wipes out darkness,
One laugh will conquer gloom.
One step must start each journey,
One word must start each prayer.
One hope will raise our spirits,
One touch can show you care.
One voice can speak with wisdom,
One heart can know what’s true.
One life can make the difference,
You see, it’s up to you….
~ Author Unknown
Posted in Poetry, Positive Thinking, Random
Tagged darkness, dream, friendship, hope, journey, life, light, love, nature, optimism, poem, poetry, power, song
Here’s one of my poems that my aunt read at the coffee morning yesterday…
in the hard concrete elbow
that joins kerbside and road
pink cherry blossoms
their once striking complexions
tainted with grey.
Maybe in minutes
a light summer breeze
will entice them to
rise in unison
with the sigh of the wind
like the hollow blow of a flute.
They’ll shake off their ashes
and revive all their passion
as they fly between sunbeams
these light fuchsia angels.
My aunt was asked to read a poem at a coffee morning this Monday so she phoned me looking for a few of mine to choose from. As I transcribed some of my words, I remembered the utter joy of poetry. Here’s one I wrote a few years ago…
Give her beauty and passion
and she sparks into flight
like a butterfly on acid
throwing light with her wings.
Oh how she casts rainbows
in the tears that spill
and plucks golden harps
of melodious laughter.
Her fires blaze in the hot eyes
of a fervent lover
while pleasure drops in sweat
She lurks amongst the Autumn leaves
gurgles in a virgin stream and
leaps off purple mountain peaks.
I see her fall with the whispering mists
and rise on the coin of sunshine.
Dizzily spinning beside moon and stars,
her silhouette rides angry clouds
that rage against the tranquil skies.
She swoops through many foreign lands
stealing romance and sweet aromas
then feeds me words not yet understood.
Forever roaming the ocean
glancing at corners
urgently probing for
just one sliver of poetry
to cover the silence
of this naked page
and awaken the butterflies
so I don’t plunge