On the drive over to a riverside festival, my friend challenges me to do one thing that will take me out of my comfort zone.
We chat to the locals, admire paintings and jewellery, drink beer out of plastic cups, laugh at a raft race and a tug-of-war, and listen to live music. The day grows dark and I still haven’t completed my task.
After a mesmerising performance by a bodhrán player, I tap the man on the shoulder and say: “Hi, I’m Sharon. I want to tell you something but I’m saying it without expectation. I don’t want anything from you. But I just have to let you know you that you’re the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen. And you’re very talented.” He blinks incredulously, thanks me and moves away.
Later in a different pub, the sexy musician comes back to me and says: “I was so shocked earlier that I was speechless. But I want to thank you for the lovely compliment. I hope you have a great night.” And I do.
Now I challenge you, dear reader, to do one thing this week that will take you out of your comfort zone. Do let me know how you get on. Have fun!
Certain music raises your emotional vibration. So I suggested that my Positive Living group find a piece of music that uplifts them. And in time, they could put together an entire playlist, which they could listen to whenever they want to feel happy or energised.
Last night, I scrolled down my iPod to see what I would place on my uplifting playlist. My choices had me shimmying, singing along to the lyrics and smiling as I was flooded with lovely memories. Here’s what I came up with…
1. Happy Face – Destiny’s Child
This song helped me put on my happy face when I was going through a tough time in my early twenties.
2. You Make My Dreams Come True – Hall & Oates
If you’re a fan of the film (500) Days of Summer, you’ll remember the scene where Joseph Gordon-Levitt dances through the streets after a night of passion with one very lucky lady.
3. You’ve Got The Love – The Source feat. Candi Station
This track reminds me of being spun on the waltzers by a sexy carnival bad-boy, and later, the emotional final scene of hit series Sex and the City.
4. What Makes You Beautiful – One Direction
No explanations, no justifications. Now excuse me while I check out some of their newer music videos. For research purposes.
*17.32 minutes minutes later* Yep, feeling pretty good alright.
5. Intro – The XX
Cooler than a pair of Ray-Bans.
6. Drumming – Florence and the Machine
This music had me dancing with wild abandon in my bedroom.
7. Taro – Alt-J
And this gets me belly dancing round the flat.
8. Halcyon – Ellie Goulding
I recall feeling hopeful and alive as I raced through the rain while Miss Goulding belted out the lyrics: “It’s gonna be better!”
9. A Real Hero – College feat. Electric Youth
I couldn’t put the treadmill on a high enough speed when this song came on my I Work Out playlist. And anything Gosling-related is feel-good if you ask me.
10. Instant Crush – Daft Punk feat. Julian Casablancas
Cruising along the coast, windows down.
Bonus Track: Sweet Disposition – The Temper Trap
Another tune from (500) Days of Summer, this brings me back to sunny days lying on the grass and gazing at a clear blue sky…
I’d love to know what would appear on your uplifting playlist!
Last night, I went to see The National in the O2. They were amazing. Matt Berninger’s voice sounded just like it does on their albums. And he really got into the performance.
The person with me commented: “They don’t write songs for the public, they write songs for themselves.” This really rang true. The lead singer appeared to let go when he was on stage. It was like he was losing himself in his passion, exposing his darkest thoughts and deepest emotions, sharing his heart with all of us. It felt raw and honest.
We could only get seated tickets, which was fine as The National’s music is quite relaxing. But there was no dancing or jumping in our section of the arena. However, after a while, the energy of the musicians rippled into the crowd. The woman in front of us started raising her hand and standing after each song. The man beside me played air guitar. And I swayed and roared in appreciation.
I gazed at a beautiful visual behind the band of the ocean and a sun-streaked sky. I was brought back to times when I swam in the sea or bobbed on a boat. I had felt free and alive.
I thought: How often do we experience these things in our everyday lives? When do we allow ourselves to let go and become one with that joy, that aliveness?
Perhaps when we drink alcohol, take drugs, have sex or go on holidays. Or when we attend gigs like this one. We connect with that passion when we witness someone living their dream, when another human being lets us in to the honesty and depth of their authentic selves.
We become truly present. We enjoy all of our senses. And we give ourselves permission to be free, even if just for one day, one night, one moment…
My Life Coaching teacher asked one of my classmates the following question:
“If you went to a fortune-teller, what area of your life would you most like to know about? And what would you like the fortune-teller to tell you about it?”
This morning, armed with a cup of tea, pen and paper, I sat down to answer that question for myself. And this is what I wrote:
“I don’t think I’d like to know. There’s something magic and exciting about imagining what wonderful things are going to happen.
“I won’t limit myself. I could be disappointed with what the fortune-teller tells me. Or I could start looking for that one particular thing, thus ruling out other possibilities.
“I’m constantly evolving and raising my vibration so my destiny is rapidly changing. Plus, I have free will.”
Every morning, I ask myself: “I wonder what wonderful things are going to happen today.” I want to remain open to that enthusiasm and opportunity.
There’s something powerful about asking questions that make you think outside the box. It can be really insightful to answer such questions. What would your answer be?
And if, like me, you enjoy lateral thinking, here are some more questions asked by the Life Coaching teacher last weekend:
If you could be any age, what age would you be and why?
If you were a fictional character, who would you be? Why?
If you were immortal for a day, what would you do?
If you could change your name, what would you change it to? Why?
If you could be any drink, what would you be?
How would the person who loves you most describe you?
If you could wave a magic wand to give yourself an extra characteristic, what would it be?
In five years’ time, what would you like your life to be like?
If you knew you couldn’t fail and nobody would judge you, what would you do?
What are the three most important things in your life?
I gave my Positive Living group the homework of doing one thing per day in complete mindfulness. This means being present with every sensation and emotion that you experience as you participate in an activity.
It involves being aware of the taste, smell, colour and texture of each ingredient you eat. It includes really listening to the sounds and silences of the music that’s playing. It’s about the feel of the ground beneath your feet with every step you take. It is the subtle sense of your breath as it leaves your nostrils and touches your skin.
We had a week off class because of the mid-term break. So one week later, when I started preparing this week’s class, I remembered the homework. I hadn’t done it once. I was anything from an exemplary teacher. I resolved to start. I still had a week.
This evening, as I sat down to dinner, I remembered the task. I had totally forgotten about it again. This was the perfect opportunity to practice. I could eat mindfully right now. But it’ll take too long, my inner resistance whined.
The logical part of me suggested that it wouldn’t take much longer to eat mindfully than it would to just eat. The only difference would be that I’d have to set aside my mind chatter for a few moments. You know what happened? I lost my appetite.
To be perfectly honest, I still haven’t done my homework. Some stubborn part of me is refusing to let go of the busyness, to quiet the din, to slow down, to simply be.
I’m sure the reason for this will become apparent but I’ll probably have to do all of the things I just mentioned first.
Could you do one thing per day in complete mindfulness for a week? If so, please let me know how you get on. I’d love to learn from you.
Have a look at this amazing blog on depression, written by Irishman Conor Cusack. Conor bravely, honestly and perfectly describes the pain of depression. The most amazing part of this article is when he calls depression his friend, not his enemy. He admits that:
“Once or twice a year, especially when I fall into old habits, my ‘friend’ pays me a visit. I don’t push him away or ignore him. I sit with him in a chair in a quiet room and allow him to come. I sit with the feeling. Sometimes I cry, other times I smile at how accurate his message is. He might stay for an hour, he might stay for a day. He gives his message and moves on.”
Emotion welled up in me as I read his words. Conor believes that depression is “a message from a part of your being to tell you something in your life isn’t right and you need to look at it.” I agree.
It’s so important to sit with how you’re feeling, to ask yourself what’s needed for you to be able live an authentic life, and to really listen to yourself even when all you want to do is run away.
If you would like an insight into how someone with depression is feeling or if you would like some reassurance that you’re not alone, this article is a must-read.
Shannon Kaiser asks: “If you were to die tonight, what regrets would you have?”Tonight, as part of a Positive Living class, we answered this question. I wrote:
“I would regret all the times I put myself through unnecessary suffering, when I could have been present instead, when I could have enjoyed the moment.
“I would regret playing it small, not going for the great stuff in life, not believing I deserved it all.”
My words surprised me. A smile stretched my lips as my pen scratched across the page. I found this exercise extremely insightful and motivating. Now, it’s your turn…
The last few courses I’ve done have included the four different styles of learners. While reading through the descriptions, I learned that I am an Activist. I don’t think any of us fits perfectly into just one type of learning style. I am also a bit of a Reflector, even a Pragmatist, and less so of a Theorist. But I am mostly an Activist.
Activists are all about experiencing life and immersing themselves fully in activities. They enjoy trying new things and they move enthusiastically from one project to the next. I embrace this aspect of my personality. And I regularly encourage the students of my Positive Living classes to really live and enjoy life too.
So this morning, as I drive home to do some class preparation, I spot a sign for Donadea Forest and decide, on a whim, to go there. It is a clear, crisp October day and I, as the Activist, seize this opportunity.
However, there is a traffic diversion along the way and I become quite lost. Suddenly, I see a sign for Ballinafagh Lake. I’ve never been there before. The adventurer inside me whoops with excitement.
I pull into a small car park in the middle of nowhere. I get out of the car and start walking through the dew-drenched grass. My feet get wet but this doesn’t stop me from exploring this new landscape.
It looks like Hallowe’en, smells like Christmas, and reminds me of primary school nature tables. The lake is still and oh so tranquil. I place my ear against the bark of a tree and am amazed at the sounds of its inner stirrings.
The sight of red berries delights me. I tread upon a boggy carpet of autumn leaves. Deceased but still so beautiful. The constant cycle of nature is both thought-provoking and comforting.
This walk has nourished the Activist within me. I return to the car feeling energised and inspired.
What type of learner are you? (Click here to find out.) And what can you do today to honour that part of you?
Being outdoors in nature, personal development, spirituality, teaching, yoga, friends & family, sunshine, good conversation, writing, a good cuppa, swimming in the sea, books, adventure, travel, learning, laughter, fun, good food, bear hugs…
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Sharon Vogiatzi and betterthansurviving with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
betterthansurviving 